Sex: The Taboo

'Sex' the taboo word in our society! Right from the adolescence days, we are told nothing about it but however there is this 'air' about it that we should always refrain from sex as it is evil. It does ruin a lot of couples' early days of marriage when the bride struggles with this 'evil' absorbed in the mind and it takes a lot of effort to get that out of the system.

Sex as shown by Society:

Bollywood movies and hindi soaps are a BIG culprit which preach that pre-marital sex will always make you pregnant, you and only you will be blamed for this debacle as you could not control your evil desires. Never did I see, the other partner in crime (read as the male) being criticized in this situation. This inflicts a moral duty within the females - 'Sex is bad. I should never ever indulge in sex'.

Bollywood movies and especially the item numbers these days, paint a very glamorous and rowdy picture of sex.  Sex and women are objectified. This has a huge impact on the way we perceive sex. Today, the social media, especially youtube has become an easy medium for anybody to access the information instantly. 

Our parents are too shy to discuss this with us. All we knew about 'sex' was via girl talk and mostly it was gibberish. 

The EFFECT:

Slowly we start having an 'aversion' towards sex. The evilness of it was so profoundly pronounced in our minds that anything related to 'sex' is seen as sinful or immoral. Even when a guy handshakes, there is this fear that this might lead somewhere. Friendly hugs from the opposite sex are also not a very comfortable thing. 

We are so blinded with this notion that the first few days/months of marriage are a nightmare. Firstly, we do not know what will it be like to have sex. Secondly the sinful attached to sex keeps on nagging our mind.

For many it is a rather difficult time. Most of us start enjoying sex but with a guilt. There is a voice in our head which says, 'This is wrong. You cannot enjoy sex. This is immoral. You know who enjoys sex?' With the chaos in the head, it becomes a rather conflicting prerogative. What makes it worst is you do not share this with anyone and the hell in your mind starts creating havoc.

Slowly and steadily, you start being on terms with 'sex'. What you think is, 'No one has to know, I enjoy sex. This is my little dirty secret.'

Some of you, are bold enough and take a step forward. You start attempting to slowly shed off all the nonsense that was taught to you about sex. You start enjoying the goodness of sex, letting the evil fade out. You start believing 'sex' is a symbol of love and a very treasured way of expressing the same. You love your husband and feel this is the best way to connect and rejoice togetherness. 

You are the true winner! Not all of us are strong like you.

The Revolution:

We are all pass the phase now, but do not want our kids to go through the same. What can we do? Revolutionize the 'Sex Talk'. 

• Stop isolating sex from relationships. Instead talk about having wholesome and healthy relationships with partners/spouse, of which sex is a small but important aspect. 
• Start inculcating a holistic approach towards relationships in our kids so that they do not completely neglect sex or are over driven with it.
• Times have changed, we are much more open to our kids than our parents. Continue that.
• Let sex be an 'expression of love' and not an 'objectified desire'. This will even help in not showcasing women as 'objects' but 'human beings with feelings'.
• We also need to educate ourselves much above the books of biology that we studied during our school days. Educating adolescents and adults in the right way is crucial. 
• We need to understand that sex is one of the essential aspects of marriage. It is a way of feeling loved and connecting with your significant other. The awkwardness, the guilt, the taboo associated with the term is something that needs to be addressed. We need to educate ourselves on sex before we take the marital plunge.
• If the channels of communications are always open between the parents and children, the parents can always serve as the first source of information for this subject as well, so that children are educated in the right way. 

We start today by taking small steps, slowly and steadily build a more responsible society which will nourish all of our minds in the right way and help us grow into responsible individuals.

My Style Statement - 'Inclusive'

I never thought I will write on 'style' as I never really bothered to be stylish. I am just another girl who goes through different phases of life and her style changes eventually while growing up. I consider my style to be 'inclusive'.

What is my style?  A pair of rugged jeans and cool tank top. I am the most comfortable in it and it makes me accept the world as it is. You would ask, how come your clothes enable you to accept the world? It does, because if you are happy with yourself you are more welcoming and open.

A pair of jeans and a comfortable top epitomizes to me the woman who is out there making her own mark being an entrepreneur. It reminds me of the newly wed girl who is settling in her new home and yet is still having her own identity with her rugged old jeans. It symbolizes to me the woman walking in a park with her partner, breathing in fresh air and who is happy that her partner respects her. It exemplifies to me the mother who has chosen to be with her kids leaving behind a promising career and experience the joy of seeing her kids grow. It conveys to me the strength a single mom gathers to raise her kids all alone in a society where a woman's worth is judged on her marital status and how well she takes care of her husband and kids. It personifies to me the courage of a woman who decides not to have kids of her own and instead adopts a lost soul and gives it a home. It denotes to me the woman who is struggling with infertility, yet tries her level best not to let the inability to bear kids define her life and focuses on her life's dream. It conveys to me the responsibility taken up by a daughter of caring for her parents. It implies to me the audacity of a woman who decides to get out of an abusive relationship and standing on her own feet. It indicates to me the confidence of the woman who is a CEO of a Fortune 500 organisation. 

A pair of jeans and a top - epitomizes to me all that today's women stand for and are fighting for! Let us pull up our rugged jeans and include each one of us in our world without being judgmental and without scrutinizing through the conservative society lens. Let us include one and all in our world and respect each other's decisions and struggles!

What are you waiting for? Pull out that jeans lying in your wardrobe and say hello to an inclusive world! :)

Photo Credit: http://www.aldermansgreen.coventry.sch.uk/images/inclusion/inclusion.jpg

Cheers 2014!

So Rohini shared a blog with me the other day. And I loved it and hence dug up more blogs from this blogger and came across this blog. And this got me thinking and inspired me to scribble down my last year in words. Just like Elaine's comment on this blog I realised  - how every year life is little of new births, deaths, farewells, new friends, love, travel, learning new things, carrying on old habits, ups and downs. Indeed my year was nothing different from this!

January last year was primarily full of anxiety and tantrums as I was stuck with visa extension and waiting keenly for my visa papers to come as without which I would have been unable to travel to India to attend my only sister's wedding. It was year when USCIS had a huge backlog and it was taking months to get your H1/H4 visa to come. Traveling without a valid visa meant, I could not come back to US till my visa was approved and there was no fix date given as to when might this happen. So I had my troubled times, fighting with my sister and justifying how I may not be able to make it. But God's grace, my visa came by January end and I booked my tickets for India. It was a surprise visit, only my sister knowing about it.

February just before starting for India, we went to an island nearby known as the Sanibel Islands. We were a gang of 4 couples and a young gentleman. The island is a calm place, away from hustle bustle of the city and has some amazing water landscape. Waters are my weakness, and I just cannot help my self plunge in its calmness and sit and watch the sun set over its horizon. The trip was kind of a temporary farewell to me before I embarked on my 2 month vacation to India.

That insane moment when the firang photographer first asks, "Are all of you couples?"
In unison we replied, "Yessssss"
And then he said, "Please kiss your respective wives now"
And this is how we react!!!!!!!

February I landed in India and gave a surprise to my parents and in laws. The sheer joy on their face after seeing me was incredible. February was mainly spent in marriage preparations and dance practice for the Sangeet ceremony. I, who has never danced, danced in front of some 400 folks! The best was I relished and enjoyed each of the moment. Marriage is the time when I met with all of my relatives - all my kakis, kakas, mama, bunch of crazy cousins, kids of cousins! The one month spent at home with my sister before marriage will always be cherished by me, though my sister always kept on running to Vaishali to meet Karan (her would be) under the pretext of having coffee ;)
This was  the time when Shweta's friends became my friends too and all of us had some great time and bonding. Here is an exclusive narrate of the marriage!

Loved ones! :)

As I said February and March were all filled with catching up and meeting friends and family. My dearest buddy from MBA, Devayani had delivered a bundle of joy just a few months earlier and I as a proud aunt went to meet the mother and the baby. Motherhood changes a woman! The joy and the happiness on Devayani's face even after having sleepless nights in a row said it all! The little angel made noises as if she was singing and she had a huge fascination for the moving fan! The fan made her tickle big time :) Such small things make you giggle when you are that innocent! It was a great time catching up with my friend in person, as virtually we have been connected all the time! And we missed Rohini a lot that time. The three of us were inseparable during MBA and we still share a very close and special rapport.

Motherhood beckons Devayani! And look at that giggling angel :)

I attended the name keeping ceremony of Devayani's baby. And guess what? I met one of my estranged friends from Graduataion - Mandar. What a coincidence! He was there to cover the ceremony as a photographer along with his would be wife Sayali. We had not been talking for years over a small misunderstanding and this was the time when we cleared all the air and got my friend back! Sayali, is a very sweet girl and we connected instantly. So ya March brought old friend together! Cheers!

He is getting hitched soon, and though I may not be there for the marriage my blessings are always with him and Sayali :)

And I get my friend again and plus a bonus friend! :)

My closest buddy Marsha from Qualcomm (the job I had before moving to US) came to meet me specially from Bangalore and spent a weekend with us! We had loads to catch up which we did over shopping, vada pav, pani puri, dosas, idlis and mugs of coffee. We had a gala time raoming on FC  road, going through the sneaky lanes of Tulshibaug and gupshuping in various coffee places. We missed Deepa then, but she was expecting at that time and we could not force her to travel! 

Miss you! Come to meet me soon...

I met Sujoy' cousins - Debika and Tanushree. Debika dropped at our place to spend the night with us and we had good time listening to each other's stories. Tanushree who was recently married had come to spend Holi with us with her husband Partho. This was the first time when I met Partho and thought him to be a very easy going guy. The amount of food cooked for jamai raja by my MIL was phenomenal and I also pitched in with fish fry and prawns masala. 

The smiling divas!

The crazy gang!

I met my Aunt, my cousins and my niece in Mumbai when I had gone to the US Consulate for my visa stamping. 3 days filled with delicious food at 3 different homes and some catching up with my niece Shriya. Shriya is a jolly girl who can make you laugh over small things. She loves baking and we just saw a glimpse of it in a chocolate brownie! Yumm it was. Chatting with Mamata didi, Madhavi and Rajesh was nice! It is at such moments that you realise family gives you such positive vibes :)

The next master chef in the making! :)

March was the month when I coloured my hair and went for a different look with a new hairdo. I loved my hairdo for entire 2 full days before the setting went off, never the less it is one of my adored looks!

And I just became a teenager again!

After two months of joy, togetherness and laughter it was time to head back to US to be with my neglected husband ;) March was the month when I met all of my favourite people and it was overwhelming!

April I came back to my husband and our cozy little place in Florida! April was mostly spent in jet lag and telling unending India stories to Sujoy. April was spent missing folks back home and getting back to reading. I finished 3 books in April when I was not sleeping!

May was adventurous with our trip to Universal Studios. This trip had been pending since 4 months and we were awaiting for a good no crowd time to visit Universal studios in Orlando. I had sleepless nights before this trip as I am very non adventurous person and the rides over here just scare the hell out of me. We went to the two theme parks within Universal. 3D rides being my favourite. Folks with me had much more fun with unimaginable rides like the Hulk ride, Dragon challenge, Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, The Minion Ride, The Simpsons Ride! 2 days we spent exploring this theme park and the parades!

May was the time when I  was all alone in US with Sujoy gone for an official trip to New York for 3 entire days. That was the time when my SPHR Certification results came and I missed the certification by mere 8 points. It was a time for me to introspect and choose what to do next. Deepti, my newest friend in US  was the one who was with me on phone to console me and was a huge support. This was my first ever academic failure! I had never experienced failure till now. I was sad, sulky, cribbing for 2 entire weeks. My eyes would tear up just like that thinking about it. And those 8 points made it even worse. Sujoy was the one who said, "You should have done engineering, failures would have been a part of your life then". He help me digest the failure and spring back again. This failure was important, as it brought me back to my senses and gave me a reality check.

June was the month when Deepa, my QC buddy delivered a healthy baby boy and Marsha and me were rejoiced at the new entry :)

Deepa and her happy lo. Eager to meet them!!

June was the month when I was overly sick and could not get out of the bed for 3 consecutive days. It was the time when Sujoy took care of me like a mother. Cooked food for me, gave me medicine in hand and sometimes even fed me. It was a time when I could have asked for anything and Sujoy would have given me that! Damn...I should have asked for that solitaire ;) Jokes apart, it was the time when I realised why they call a spouse the better half! I had some great neighbours and friends like Keerthana and Prachi, who kept a eye on my health and got food on some days :)

I recovered in a week and then we had our first over night guest at home! Sujoy's brother in law - Chiranjeeb was in town on official work and he spent a weekend with us. 3 days of crazy cooking for me! It was at that time that I realised that my kitchen doesn't have enough cookware if a third person comes home! 3 days of cooking involved prawns, fish, mutton, dal, bottle gourd, brinjal fry, sabudana khichdi, poha! Phew! Though our guest demanded just plain rice and dal, we could not have left him without letting him have a taste of konakni and bengali cuisine! The selfish motto behind it was he would go and praise my food to my in laws ;) Not really, I realised the satisfaction of feeding home cooked food to a guest is well beyond words! :)

The guest and the food spread :)

June I lost my grandmother and it was then I realised the pain of loss of a near one. Death is morbid. Death is an eye opener. She was old, she was bed ridden, she was not conscious and yet she had a life with her. And just like that she was gone! Death is the ultimate equalizer they say! And so what matters is how well we lived our life when we had a chance on it! I made a promise then to live each moment to the fullest as yes everyone has to die one day!

July we went exploring again and this time to Key West, another of the innumerable Florida islands. It was a one day trip and we came back the same night. The road to this trip is beautiful and has best of landscapes with endless waters and skies! Key West has an amazing treasure of coral life and beautiful waters. We did the glass bottom boat ride and saw the colourful life beneath those clear waters. Had some nice mahi mahi fish fry, went to the Southernmost Point of USA and headed back to our place. 

July we bid farewell to our neighbours and good friends - Keerthana and Balajee. Their stint in Florida was over and they were headed to Texas for their new venture. We had a potluck before they went and later had a nice dinner outside at Buca De Beppo! We miss Balajee's constant blabber and Keerthana's yummilicious dosas!

Till we meet again! :)

August was the time when we planned our New York trip for the next month. We were excited as this would be our first time when we would venture out of Florida and see a new state. Sujoy was the one who did all the research and and we were all set for the time of our lifetime!

September I think was by far the best month for me. I just loved our trip to New York and Niagara falls. I was awe struck with the hugeness of Niagara and just could not erase that image from my mind. I loved New York with the hustle bustle and it reminded me of Mumbai, a city that never sleeps. You can check out more about my adventures on this trip here - New York and Niagara Falls! 

October was the month when we bid adieu to another couple  - Savitha and Vishnu and their naughty boy Gagan. We went out to an Indian restaurant and had some nice spicy food! They are some 60 miles from here currently and we hope to meet them often!

October we also celebrated Durga Puja by decking up in traditional Indian wear and visiting a Hindu temple near us. Durga Puja is a big affair in bengalis all over and we missed the fun and fervor we used to have back home during these festival times!

October we also had Diwali and to get into the Diwali mode, I made small lanterns and stuck them on our door! Our neighbour commented that they felt festive after looking at those lanterns! So my lanterns brought a smile on some faces :)

November and December we spent amidst festivities as Thanksgiving and Christmas bring out the child in you! December is super special with our anniversary and Sujoy's birthday! The first half of November was spent learning how to drive with a lot of curses, fights and crying with Sujoy in the teacher's seat. November marks a big milestone for me as it gave me my first ever driving license, which is a BIG feat for a girl who has not driven anything (except has driven her husband crazy countless times) her entire life ;)

December was a month of fun! We celebrated our Anniversary with a cozy dinner at Olive Gardens! 

We celebrated Christmas the Indian way with our neighbours Prachi and Yatin - we had hot spicy vada made by Prachi and pav baked for the first time by me. The sheer joy of having Indian street food at your US home is incredible! 

The sumptuous vada pav

We made Sujoy watch a cartoon movie that night as it was his birthday the next day and we had plans for midnight cake cutting. We had to make him stay and what else can a wife do but innocently plead , "I want to watch a cartoon right now, so please sit with me and watch." And then the husband cannot say no in front of the friends ;) So at midnight we cut cake and came back to our place. The next day we celebrated his birthday with a quite walk on the beach, roaming on the streets full of festive lights and Christmas Trees and then having dinner outside!

December saw the entry of another little one - Rishaun, son of Partho and Tanushree! I am sure Tanushree is enjoying her motherhood :)

December was a milestone for my blog - It crossed 10,000 hits! And I was a happy child! My blog brought a lot of perspective to my thinking. It also brought pat on the back messages not just from the loved ones but also from strangers! Folks made special efforts to drop messages to me saying they love my blog and urged me to keep on writing. Constructive feedback from near ones made me grow as a writer and I still strive to give the best!

The entire year I have been reading, reading a lot! Cooking a lot - venturing and trying out new things altogether - some hits and some big flops. But my husband eats everything none the less ;) And most prominently I wrote. To sum up 2014 was difficult and while doing so, I relived all my precious moments yet again and realised "Phew, I did some kick ass stuff this year!" :)

And we said good bye to the year by watching the fireworks from favourite place - the water and the sands 'the beach' :)

Togetherness!

It has been 3 years to our marriage recently and that is when I realized how one person becomes so irreplaceable in your life that you cannot think about your life without that person!

I have known Sujoy since a decade now. But marriage has changed the dynamics of our relationship completely. Moreover it has made me a better person! :) Rather I would say marriage has been my makeover therapy ;)

I still remember those dating days when I was learning Bengali to impress Thamma i.e. Sujoy's grandmother. It was Durga Puja time (a festival very dear to all Bengalis) and my now MIL thought it was a good time to get introduced to Sujoy's grandmother. So my MIL had taught me 4-5 lines in Bengali to speak with Thamma on the occasion of Bijoya (after Durga Puja, youngsters take blessings from elders). So I had revised, memorised my 5 bengali lines  - 

'Kemon acho?' (How are you?)

'Ami Pradnya bolchi. Chinte perecho ki?' (This is Pradnya on the line. Did you recognize me?)

'Amar bijoyar pranaam nav aar ashirwad daav' (Please accept my bijoya greetings and bless me)

'Pujo kemon katlo?' (How was your Durga puja?)

'Aajke ki ranna korecho?' (What did you cook today?)

'Rakchi eakhun' (I am hanging up now)

Phew! So these were the sentences taught to me. My talk with thamma went very well with prompting from my MIL. I was a super duper happy kid that day!

One month later I thought of calling thamma and speaking with her with my limited bengali. And in that conversation I inadvertently asked her again, 'Pujo kemon katlo?' And that was it. It was not Durga puja time then and this question made thamma laugh. From that day on, for a year atleast whenever I called any of Sujoy's relatives they would ask me 'Pujo kemon katlo?' and we would have a hearty laugh! Sujoy still teases me and asks, 'Pujo kemon katlo?' :P

It has been a long journey from that day to today where in I understand and speak bengali quite well.

I have lived a very serious and disciplined life before marriage. I always used to tell Sujoy, post marriage I will change all of you. I will make you guys get up early and have an early bath and have fresh start to your day! Little did I know the pleasures of waking up late, leisurely having breakfast and then taking a bath in the afternoon. The marriage made things work other way round - I started becoming more and more Datta than he becoming a Vernekar!

I have loosened up and have started taking life less seriously! The control freak within me is diminishing little by little. I am open to new things and do not freak out as before if something is not kept in its place. It took a lot of time for me to be here! With the restrictions gone away, life has become happier :)

Sujoy has given me all the freedom in life! When we were in Chennai and I was overly in love with my job, he took care of the kitchen and groceries. I traveled more than him for work. And he managed the house very well. Now in US also, he has always been very supportive in all activities I have wanted to do. He is the one who keeps on pushing me to keep myself busy. He is the one who will take me out every weekend to eat as he says I work very hard in the kitchen and I deserve rest over the weekend. And it is only because of him that I even ventured learning a four wheeler! The progress of which is another story though ;)

The best thing I like about our relationship is we respect each other and at the same time give space. He has his football, I have my reading and writing and we try to be a part of each others likings as much as possible. He has never treated me as a kitchen maid but always as an equal. We discuss all household issues together and hence the relationship is very mature! And why just household stuff, we even discuss grammar at home with me preaching him all the time :P

It sometimes surprises me that how one person has such impact in your life. You share almost everything with that person! The happiness when you see that person beside you in bed when you wake up every morning is enigmatic! Two individuals who become soul mates, and complement each other so well! Life is indeed worthwhile then! :)

And as they say, 'Together is a happy place to be.'  I know, I want to get old with this guy and hold his hand forever! :)

The Thoughts Window

Disclaimer: All characters in this piece are non-fictitious and have full resemblance in real life. Please forgive me or better still my mind for wandering around this way!

So I sit down today to write a story. I have a couple of things in mind and as I try and articulate my abstract ideas into something tangible, my mind wanders to so many places. Trust me I thought 100 thoughts in a span of half an hour. And it occurred to me, I should document this....just to read one day and have a hearty laugh! I have kept some words in bold, not to emphasize but for the readers to know how my second thought was linked to the first one. Otherwise you will think I have gone crazy. On second thoughts, even if I do not make some words bold you are bound to think I am crazy!!!

So here is my today's writing ordeal - 

Abishek says my characters always are pursuing something. So this time maybe I should write about an independent woman who has it all. I need to be independent now. It is been ages that I am using the public transport or dependant on someone to drive me places. I am going to fail the driving test. How I wish during the driving test Sujoy's spirit incarnates into me and I pass the test. Or like 'I dream of Jeannie', I should fold my hands like Jeannie nod my head down and wink and Tadaaaaa...I pass the test. Or why can't I just practice more and pass the godamn driving test without any extra terrestrial help.

Extra terrestrials might be having 4 hands. Why extra terrestrials? Some humans behave as if they have 4 hands. Shweta can talk on a phone plus work on 3 things in the kitchen. She can study and listen to music. Mumma works on innumerable things in kitchen simultaneously. Phew! And me? I can do just one thing at a time. The time I tried cutting the vegetables and making curry simultaneously, disaster! But I have improved heaps and bounds in cooking. Mumma asked me recipe of kaju katli....Mumma....who is such a cooking expert asked me! Now that is a feat!

Kaju katlis are so tasty. I should have one now.

(I get up to take a bite of kaju katli and come back again to writing)

Chandrima says she found my NY blog a little too over the place and difficult to keep track of. I should write something which engrosses the reader till the end. Something like the 'Gone Girl'. But not the end. I hated the end. The entire movie kept me engrossed and then the end - I just hated it! Maybe I should read the book and find out more. 

'To kill a mockingbird' is a great book. I cannot believe it took me so long to get hold of this book. I am sure it must have churned a lot of advocates and litigators in the US after the book launch. Alicia Florrick did mention this in 'The Good Wife' series. 

I love 'The Newsroom'. Specially what I saw today. The Osama Bin Laden episode. Classy. Could not have asked for more. I should see that documentary on how they caught Bin Laden which Sujoy had recommended. 

Sujoy never says anything about my writing. He doesn't even show that he has read my blog. There is this one reader from Poland who reads my blog. Just solitary one from Poland. I do not know anyone from Poland. Every blog has one read from Poland. Who might this reader be? Sometimes extra statistics screws you over. Google gives a lot of statistics on the demographics of my blog readers.

But my blog on football was a hit amongst Sujoy's football buddies. It is my highest read blogs till date. Everybody could relate with it. Sujoy must have liked atleast that blog of mine.

Last match Sujoy played was great the first half. Second half they just got bored it seems. They lost badly, 0-4. The first half was 0-0, and in second half everything went for a toss very quickly. Their first loss in the league so far. But I liked the fact that the opponent team's player came and chatted with Sujoy. He said, "If that beautiful pass you executed in the first half had been converted into a goal by the forward then that would have been the game changer."

An opponent player who does not even know Sujoy, came upto him to tell him this!

I felt so proud then :) Wish I had some passion that strong in my life!

And then I thought a lot about my life which I prefer not making public at this moment. Too much of deep thoughts which I will park aside currently...maybe some day when I want to have another hearty laugh I will open my Pandora's box of my take on life! Till then it is just these 100 thoughts which made me go offtrack so badly that I did not write my story at all!!!

PS: I filtered a lot of my thoughts before writing this blog. You know how your mind wanders sometimes ;)

The Walk!

We had a very hearty meal at an Indian restaurant in Miami last Sunday. Sujoy and me were so full with all the hogging that in the evening Sujoy suggested to take a walk in 'The Central Park'. I was amused thinking Sujoy is referring to the Central Park in New York. I still gave him the benefit of doubt thinking its the desi Kingfisher effect ;). But no my husband was completely sobre and in his senses and was talking about the Central Park in Plantation, where we stay. Till then I had not heard about this park.

So we took our car and drove to this park Sunday evening on a mission to get rid of some of the guilt associated with chicken tikka masala and buttery naan. The park is huge. Open spaces in the US still amaze me, the landscape and enormity of the parks gives me goosebumps. We enter the park and I can see 5 different fields where different types of sports are happening, a jogging track and a walking track around a lovely lake with a fountain.

The park seemed a busy place with lots of activities happening around and participants being people from all age groups. We started taking a walk around the fountain, which by the way was used by ducks too to commute. We saw an owl nesting area along our walk. 

There were multiple games happening on fields. Soccer game of girls on one field, some guys were practicing baseball and there was a group of kids practicing net ball. And I wondered to myself sports plays such a pivotal role in peoples' life here. The kids were in the best sports gear and helmets, something which you will not see back in India.

We took one round around the fountain when Sujoy decided to ditch me and go for a run on the jogging track. So here I was alone walking amongst a bunch of people doing the best I do, 'observe'.

So I listen to people's conversation who are walking alongwith me. Two women maybe in their 40s are discussing about a party they attended on Saturday and were completely disappointed with their host. Seems the host did not have enough of vegan options and how these women literally starved themselves at the party and ate after coming home. I speed up a little and decide to overtake these women.

Then I hear a girl asking her bf about what should she wear for the Halloween. She gives him 2-3 choices. The guy seemed bored (very normal I believe). Never the less he bravely picks up one choice and tells her. She makes a face and says, "I look fat in that". Guy gives a sigh. Then he picks other one. She says. "Hmmm....I can but maybe I will wear the third one". And I am thinking if she had already decided what to wear, why to go through all this drama. And the guy gave me a look as if he read my mind and was so agreeing with me. The couple disembarked from the track and went wandering on the grass.

I steadied my pace. Then I saw a group of small girls chasing the ducks. Poor ducks were running for their life into the lakes where the girls could not reach them. I thought of giving the girls a piece of my mind but controlled myself. With my bodyguard jogging somewhere far off, it was not a good idea to take up a fight with someone who are 8 in no. I ignored those girls and paced ahead.

There was this super enthusiastic exercise group. It was a mix group again. I loved the way they were enjoying their workout. Seemed so much fun. The instructor had engaged all of them with small small races and activities. The were hopping, frog jumping, stretching over the grass. There was a positive energy amidst this group.

My 2 rounds around the lake were done and still there was no sign of Sujoy. So I sat on a bench facing the fountain. And I was mitigating on something when a toddler came running to me and sat on the bench. He was followed by his mother and I made space for her also to sit. They were Spanish. But it did not matter as the toddler was still babbling and not forming words and it was immaterial if he spoke English, Spanish or Russian. It amazed me to see how two people can get connected without speaking the same language. 

I was playing with this toddler when there was a tap on my shoulder. And here at last my husband came back to me after abandoning me halfway. So we were leaving when the toddler babbled something and I heard, "Don't go". Such games your mind plays with you. But the toddler indeed did not want us to go. I came back to him and said we will meet soon.

The walk was refreshing and I was thinking we should come this park often. And as we were walking towards our car I asked Sujoy, "So what should I wear for the movie tonight?" And his face said it all and I was wondering if someone is listening to our conversation currently :)

Eternal Beauty - Niagara

The journey from NYC to Niagara Falls was done in a Grey Hound bus equipped with free wifi and a charging point at every seat. The 9 hours journey could not have been more informative for me as I spent all the time hooked to my mobile reading more about WTC attack, how the rescue functions managed and how the US secret services tracked down Osama Bin Laden. The 9/11 memorial had a huge impact on me and hence all this digging out during the travel.

After reaching Niagara Falls - ya about this, even the city where Niagara Falls is situated is known as Niagara Falls! So after reaching there we headed to the hotel and freshened up for good Indian dinner. We were famished as we ate very little during our 9 hours bus travel. Niagara Falls has an array of Indian restaurants, all placed very close to each other. We had a wide choice and went to one which served Punjabi food.

It was 9 pm, when we ventured to the Niagara Falls. We parked our vehicle. I was expecting huge roars of the waterfall as we were in the vicinity of the falls. However I never heard anything except for the babble of the people around me walking towards the falls. You walk quite a lot from the parking till you see the Falls.

The first view of the falls - I was so mesmerized and captivated looking at the enormity of these falls. No photo, no video ever seen by you will match the thrill you experience seeing the falls by your own eyes! Trust me on that.....

The falls were a huge spread of water falling down. The water on the top was gushing and pushing with full force and energy. The moment it fell down, it became steady and saint like. Nature never fails to surprise me! The same water in two different forms - at the top and at the bottom.

Canada and USA are connected by a bridge called the Rainbow bridge. The border lies exactly in between of this bridge. The Niagara Falls lie between American and Canadian border. It is divided into 3 falls, from largest to smallest - Horseshoe Falls, American Falls and the Bridal Veil Falls. The Horseshoe Falls lie mostly on the Canada side, the American Falls and the Bridal Veil Falls lie on the American side. These falls are separated by small islands.

At night, you see the falls dancing in  the lights. The Canada side has a better view. But more than the view, I was overwhelmed with the vastness of the falls and I literally sat near the falls on the bench in a meditative mode enjoying the rhythm of the water and feeling myself very lucky to have seen this beauty alive.

We stayed around the falls for around 2 hours and then returned to our hotel, excited to see the falls again in the brightness of the day.

Niagara during the day is even more splendid than the night. The waters and the sun, play with each other to produce a dozen of rainbows. We must have experienced atleast 10 rainbows during our 5-6 hours near the falls.

The Niagara Falls State Park is where one must head to see these Falls. There are quite a few things you can do at this park - The Maid of the Mist (a boat ride which takes you into the falls), The Cave of the Winds (a staircase built at the side of the falls where the fall water comes on you), Niagara's scenic trolley (a trolley ride which takes you around the park with a guide), Aquarium, Adventure Theater (theater with regular shows on the adventures people did near the falls) Discover Centre and hiking in the Niagara gorge.

We had just one day and hence we did the Maid of the Mist, Trolley Ride, Adventure theater and the Cave of the Winds.

Maid of the Mist as I mentioned earlier is a boat ride which takes you to the heart of the falls. They give you ponchos (a raincoat which covers your entire body) to protect you from getting drenched completely in the waters. As you approach the falls, your heart starts beating fast as you are scared to go near the falls where the water is falling with full power and force. And then you reach amidst the falls. At one point the water from the falls spills so much on your face that you are blinded for sometime. And then when you get your sight back, you just look at the falls in awe. No other word - you are just awestruck!

After the Maid of the Mist, we headed towards the Cave of the Winds. The Cave of the Winds is a staircase built below the Bridal Veil falls coming within 7.6 metres from the Falls where you can experience the water from the falls lavishly falling on you. The Cave of the Winds provides you with a new set of poncho - yellow this time and these cool floaters to protect you from slipping on the staircase. There is a hurricane point on the deck where the force of the water is maximum and it feels as if you are standing below the falls.

After the Cave of the Winds, we went to the Adventure Theater to see the short film on the daring activities people did near the Niagara Falls. The film depicted stories about a woman who survived falling from the falls in a barrel with her cat, a gentleman who crossed the Niagara falls on a rope and a kid who accidentally fell from the falls from a boat however survived even after falling from that height! The short film made me have goose bumps with every adventure that unfolded.

With this our tryst with the falls came to an end. The Niagara Falls will always be one of the best places ever seen by me. The vastness of Niagara makes you feel a tiny piece in front of it thereby making you humble and grounded, its freshness makes you rejuvenated and its eternal beauty just soothes you and your belief in nature's miracles just strengthens. 

They say at the rate at which Niagara Falls is eroding, we may not have the falls in the future! And so as we returned to our hotel, my soul prayed to God for the longevity of the falls for many to experience its splendor forever. Long live the Niagara Falls!