Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Sex: The Taboo

'Sex' the taboo word in our society! Right from the adolescence days, we are told nothing about it but however there is this 'air' about it that we should always refrain from sex as it is evil. It does ruin a lot of couples' early days of marriage when the bride struggles with this 'evil' absorbed in the mind and it takes a lot of effort to get that out of the system.

Sex as shown by Society:

Bollywood movies and hindi soaps are a BIG culprit which preach that pre-marital sex will always make you pregnant, you and only you will be blamed for this debacle as you could not control your evil desires. Never did I see, the other partner in crime (read as the male) being criticized in this situation. This inflicts a moral duty within the females - 'Sex is bad. I should never ever indulge in sex'.

Bollywood movies and especially the item numbers these days, paint a very glamorous and rowdy picture of sex.  Sex and women are objectified. This has a huge impact on the way we perceive sex. Today, the social media, especially youtube has become an easy medium for anybody to access the information instantly. 

Our parents are too shy to discuss this with us. All we knew about 'sex' was via girl talk and mostly it was gibberish. 

The EFFECT:

Slowly we start having an 'aversion' towards sex. The evilness of it was so profoundly pronounced in our minds that anything related to 'sex' is seen as sinful or immoral. Even when a guy handshakes, there is this fear that this might lead somewhere. Friendly hugs from the opposite sex are also not a very comfortable thing. 

We are so blinded with this notion that the first few days/months of marriage are a nightmare. Firstly, we do not know what will it be like to have sex. Secondly the sinful attached to sex keeps on nagging our mind.

For many it is a rather difficult time. Most of us start enjoying sex but with a guilt. There is a voice in our head which says, 'This is wrong. You cannot enjoy sex. This is immoral. You know who enjoys sex?' With the chaos in the head, it becomes a rather conflicting prerogative. What makes it worst is you do not share this with anyone and the hell in your mind starts creating havoc.

Slowly and steadily, you start being on terms with 'sex'. What you think is, 'No one has to know, I enjoy sex. This is my little dirty secret.'

Some of you, are bold enough and take a step forward. You start attempting to slowly shed off all the nonsense that was taught to you about sex. You start enjoying the goodness of sex, letting the evil fade out. You start believing 'sex' is a symbol of love and a very treasured way of expressing the same. You love your husband and feel this is the best way to connect and rejoice togetherness. 
You are the true winner! Not all of us are strong like you.

The Revolution:

We are all pass the phase now, but do not want our kids to go through the same. What can we do? Revolutionize the 'Sex Talk'. 

  • Stop isolating sex from relationships. Instead talk about having wholesome and healthy relationships with partners/spouse, of which sex is a small but important aspect. 
  • Start inculcating a holistic approach towards relationships in our kids so that they do not completely neglect sex or are over driven with it.
  • Times have changed, we are much more open to our kids than our parents. Continue that.
  • Let sex be an 'expression of love' and not an 'objectified desire'. This will even help in not showcasing women as 'objects' but 'human beings with feelings'.
  • We also need to educate ourselves much above the books of biology that we studied during our school days. Educating adolescents and adults in the right way is crucial. 
  • We need to understand that sex is one of the essential aspects of marriage. It is a way of feeling loved and connecting with your significant other. The awkwardness, the guilt, the taboo associated with the term is something that needs to be addressed. We need to educate ourselves on sex before we take the marital plunge.
  • If the channels of communications are always open between the parents and children, the parents can always serve as the first source of information for this subject as well, so that children are educated in the right way. 
We start today by taking small steps, slowly and steadily build a more responsible society which will nourish all of our minds in the right way and help us grow into responsible individuals.


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