The Year that was 2015!

A very very long post alert! Summarizing my year 2015 is going to be a daunting task and it is by default going to be a long post. I did a recap of 2014 too, which was month wise. But for this year I thought, I will just jot down the major twists of my life. So bring a hot drink or even wine, sit back and get ready for a detailed report of my 2015.

Travel and Adventures
Year 2015 was characterized with some travel and some adventures. We started the year with a trip to Key West in early January this year. What was special about this trip was that I did parasailing! Those who know me, know how big a deal this was for me! It was a struggle with the mind and finally I did it!

Scary!

 In March, we went to Texas to meet some old friends, my cousin and her super cute twins. It was supposed to be a family gathering and hence we did not do much sightseeing but just sat back and relaxed with friends and family. It was the first time I experienced snow in the US! It was a memorable trip!

That is my darling niece with our snowman

In June, we went to the Fairchild Botanical Garden in Miami. We were just on the verge of moving towards a little north of Florida and thought this was the best time to cover all the South Florida spots on our wish list. The garden was beautiful and the best part I loved about this garden was their Butterfly Park.

Gorgeous Colors and Butterflies

In September, we traveled to Orlando to witness the live magic of soulful Arijit Singh songs. The concert was breathtaking and with each song he sang, my heart melted. It was a 3 hour drive one way and we did not mind that at all.

That soulful voice!

In October, we went to Smoky Mountains. And I think, this is my second best trip in US so far...first being the Niagara Falls. We traversed through 4-5 states and were overwhelmed with the beauty of the fall colors. It was my first time of witnessing the fall colors and I was in love with all the vibrant colors. However, what marked this trip as extra adventurous was my tryst with ziplining! It was kind of a revelation moment for me!

Don't ask all the drama I created!

That was the travel part this year. I believe in creating happiness via experiences and travel indeed allows me to make a bundle of memories to sustain happiness over the longer journey.

New Beginnings, New Friends
The biggest move of this year has to be our shift from Plantation to Palm Beach Gardens in June. I loved the new place since the day we shifted to our new home. It is a fountain facing apartment and I just cannot stop talking about the view I wake up to every single morning. 

Isn't it breathtaking?

I also made some new friends here and I love being here :) Neha and Gauri have been great friends till now and we are sure that our friendship will go past the hurdles of long distances, which tends to be the root of every friendship distancing. I have spent some memorable times in the second half of this year with these two buddies which will be there with me forever. I am trying to learn how to put make up and yet carry it the classy way from Gauri and I cannot even try listing all the things we learnt from Neha in this year. We have our imperfections and yet we gel in very well! New friendships which I will cherish forever! 

Ya ya, friends forever :)

Celebrations
I celebrated my birthday this year by coming out and cheering Sujoy at his football finals in one of the tourneys. It was a different way to celebrate the birthday. But if you know my husband, I think you will understand how much it would have meant to him that I came out and celebrated my birthday this way! Not to mention, his team won the finals and brought a trophy back home :)

That's my hero :)

We celebrated Diwali with a bang this year. I did all that my mother does during Diwali. It was a lovely festive time and I loved each bit of the Diwali fun. We also had our friends visiting us from Denver and it was a homely Diwali in true sense.

I even wore a saree!

Our Anniversary, we had a candle light dinner at one of the restaurants by the beach side (perks of staying in Florida). And while coming back home we saw some holiday lights in the vicinity. It has been 4 years since our marriage and 10 years since we know each other, and yet it feels we met just yesterday :)

Blessed to have him by my side!

His birthday, I baked a cake first time ever. I cooked his favorite food - macaroni for breakfast, bengali mutton curry and jeera rice for lunch! Dinner was outside. We spent some good times reminiscing all the years which are behind us.

That's the birthday celebrations!

Efforts for Personal Growth
This year I joined Toastmasters and my journey so far has been very rewarding. After 8 months, 10 speeches, 6 best speaker awards, 4 table topics awards, 1 win at the humorous speech contest and a lot of learning later I finally achieved the first level of competency in Toastmasters i.e. Competent Communicator. It was my personal goal to attain this level this year itself and with the help of my Club President I was able to do so. 

Yayy, yayy! That is the way it is done :)

My writing has grown in leaps and bounds this year. Apart from my blogs, I wrote a couple of guest posts at different bloggers' site and I continue to write for Women's Web. I also started as a Creative Writer at Stylewhack early this year. Over the months, today I am the Executive Editor and I am donning a lot of other hats at this start up. It keeps me pumped and helps me balance my career aspirations. Recently I was told that I have written 50 posts already on Stylewhack and it is a milestone for me :)

I have learnt quite a few new skills and did a lot of art and craft work this year, thanks to my girl's gang at the new place :) The best skill has to be undoubtedly 'crochet'. There was a time when I was hooked to it and completed a beanie, a scarf and I am still struggling with my jacket as yet. I cannot thank Neha enough for this! Apart from this; we did quilling, wind chimes, diwali lanterns and of course crochet. 

That beanie and scarf has been crocheted by me :)

I also tried my hands on swimming this year. Well technically I have not 'learnt' swimming as yet but my fear of water has at least reduced. It was a 4 sessions class and in those  sessions I got rid of my water fear. I also did some swimming in the Community with a few of my new friends, but ya I am still swimming with a board! :P

I am in the waters at least ;)

The Drastic Steps
This has to be my uber short bob cut I did in May this year. It was a BIG step as I have always maintained a certain length of my hair. But I wanted to take some risk and I went and did it! Though I have been told not to go for such a short cut again! The next on list would be a pixie cut ;)

That is the short bob cut. Not that bad, right?

The next has to be my tattoo. I have been wanting to have this since a year now and finally in December I did it. It is drastic as I am the first and till now the only one to have got a tattoo in my as well as Sujoy's family. But hey, I always have been a pioneer ;)

Inked in Gratitude!

The Worries
If you thought my year has been just about happy moments and fun, then you are wrong. The biggest worry which has troubled me the most is my mother in law's health. My MIL is a very energetic and always on the run kind of a woman. But this year, her health deteriorated and it has been troubling me ever since. She is doing better now, but she has lost her sheen :(

The second part is of course we not being able to go home due to unending visa procedures and hang ups. It has been quite a long while now that we haven't been home and it haunts us every single day. We are praying that next year at least we should be able to visit home and be with our loved ones.

So yes 2015 has been a tremendously fulfilling year, I did one new thing each week this year and I can't wait to start 2016. My word for this year was 'Gratitude' and I have lived every bit inculcating Gratitude. I am searching for a new word for next year and stay tuned to know more about it.

I hope you guys also had an eventful year and wish that 2016 is adventurous too! Happy New Year :)

Being the Positive Angel!

She was the ultimate definition of optimism,

Just like the rainbow colors oozing out of a lighted prism.

Everyone around her looked up to her for motivation,

Always smiling, 'happiness' shouting from each of her fraction.

Then one day, the unthinkable struck on her,

To an accident, she lost her dear mother.

And yet she stood strong amongst them all,

Holding her family together and not letting them fall.

Her father held on to her for support,

For her little brother she was the strong fort.

They clinged to her like a child to a mother,

She held strong, giving hope to everyone around her.

All the while she proved to be everyone's positive angel,

Not understanding the chaos of emotions beneath her tangled.

She wanted to remove the 'facade' of being eternally at bliss,

She wanted someone to hug her and on her forehead place a kiss.

That night she saw her mother in her dreams,

Saying it is ok to cry sometimes and also to scream.

It is ok to break down sometimes and feel the pain,

It is ok not to look for a rainbow always in the rain.

She woke up and she cried, like a baby she cried,

She let out all the sorrow as her mother had died.

She told herself, "Let me cry, let me cry today for once and all"

Because from tomorrow I have to smile and again stand tall!

Image Source

3 Women Saving My Life Currently

They say women cannot be friends. They say when two women meet, they just bitch. They say women can't see other women rising up the ladder. They say women are jealous of other women's progress. They still say women cannot be friends!!!

I have 3 women in my life currently who have proved all the above as myths. Here is an ode to these women who are saving my life currently! The ironical part is I have not met either of them as yet and still they stand by me as a solid rock.

Image Source

The first woman I want to talk about is Deepti. Deepti is my husband's colleague's wife who also is in the field of Human Resources. She was in US when I arrived here and I got in touch with her to get guidance on one of the HR certifications which I planned to attempt. Deepti had already given that certification then. We spoke on phone some 2 years back and since then there is no stopping to our friendship. Both of us were frustrated with the 'dependent' visa status and did not want to waste our lives by watching soaps on television or gossiping with other women.  We wanted to do something worthwhile. So hence began the quest for doing meaningful things. We started with having a HR presentation every week where we took trending HR topics and presented the same to each other. We even joined Toastmasters at the same time and we recite our speeches to each other and take feedback. It is not just the personal development that we both indulge in. There are some things in my life, the pain of which only Deepti understands and does not ridicule me for that. She doesn't show sympathy, instead lends a compassionate ear to my grievings. There have been days when I have been completely bogged down, but a call to her makes all the difference in the world. These past 2 years, we have grown as human beings and so has our friendship. What connects us even stronger is our spiritual ideologies. 

I wish from the bottom of my heart that she gets all that she desires :)

The second woman I would like to mention is Shweta Chittrode. I met her in a FB group where she had mentioned that she was in search of writers for her website. We spoke and since then there is a trust that has been built between us. Technically she is my boss, but I find her to be a friend and a mentor. Shweta does not stop amazing me. Each single day she will pull off something, that will make me awestruck. I have never seen such a strong woman in my life who has guts to make her dream come true single handedly. We are involved with a start up called Stylewhack and trust me the energy and zeal with which Shweta works for this start up, pumps up energy in all of us. She does not sit idle, she is either networking or finding leads or working on articles or making our website better. There have been days when she has not slept for days and yet she shows up every single morning to work. People who are involved in start ups will understand the mammoth amount of hard work which is required to make a start up a success. And Shweta is doing double of that! A woman who went against the society norms, a woman who is creating opportunities for other women, a woman who just doesn't give up! Hats off to this strong woman! 

Have faith Shweta, together we will take Stylewhack to newer heights!

The third woman just brings a smile on my face. I 'met' Lily Dunn over her blog when one of my friends forwarded the link. I instantly connected with her writing and we shared a few emails. I even did a guest post for her on 'Gratitude', the word I have chosen for me this year. Lily's blogs keep me going and sometimes bring a wide smile on my face. She is funny, she is hilarious! Her CoT stories when she was in Korea entertained almost everyone. And now that she is back to the US, that place seems to have taken by her adorable cats. Her posts are witty and sure shot will brighten up anyone's day. Her guest series on 'Gratitude' is what has kept me going even during the dark times. When there was a storm in South Carolina recently where Lily stays, my hands automatically were folded in a prayer for her. Such strongly connected I feel towards her even though we haven't met in person. Her undying faith in God and her attitude of counting her blessings even during tough times inspires me to stay strong each single day. 

So Lily, whenever we meet next you have to give me eye make up tutorials :P

So yes, these 3 women are saving my life currently! I sometimes wonder how can people be so close when they have not even met! This makes my belief in God and destiny stronger. People who are supposed to 'meet' will meet in any circumstances!

Who is saving your life currently?

Where do we belong?

My parents hail from a beautiful beach place on the Goa - Karnataka border called Karwar. It is a divine place with very simple people and of course a lot of fish and coastal fruits. By this connection, my mother tongue is Konkani and I have that coastal spirit within me.

My father came to Pune for a better livelihood. My sister and me were born and brought up in Pune. Pune, a free spirited city which has its own rich cultural heritage and of course the rude businessman as many would say. As I was growing up in Pune, our foods started having a Maharashtrian tinge with sabudana khichdi, vegetables prepared with peanuts and usage of kala masala to some extent. We still had our fish curry and vegetables with coconut, but for our school lunch tiffins we essentially had poli bhaji (chapati and vegetable) which was so much influenced by Pune. It is how I picked up Marathi and there was one more language added to my kitty. 

For more than 25 odd years of my life, I thought I belonged to Pune. I thought the mandai vegetable market, the small town bazaar called tulshibaug, the hep F.C Road, the cosmopolitan Camp and my homely Kothrud area defined me. I thought the small scale vegetable vendors sitting on Paud Road is where I belonged, I thought the tiny mom and pop grocery store just outside my building is where I belonged, I thought the Ganesh Bhel which is a famous chatt centre line is where I belong. It was imbibed in me that I belonged here in Pune until....

I got married and was packed away to a Bengali family. This was a phase in my life where I started learning the Bengali language. I am not an expert in the language but I can converse today quite fluently with Bengalis. Also, I understand what they say even if sometimes I may not be able to reply to them in Bengali.  I started blending in the Bengali tinge with slowly and steadily liking the bland river fish and learning Bengali cuisine and rituals. Getting used to mustard pastes and mustard oil was what took a little longer. I have come so far today being a Bengali that it is me who reminds my husband about Bengali New Year and Durga Pujo dates. This was the first time I started questioning to myself "Where do I really belong?"

I was trying to find answer to this question and we shifted to Chennai for Sujoy's work and yet again I was caught in the dilemma. I hated Chennai to the core because of my inability to understand Tamil and the unavailability of authentic butter chicken. But somewhere inside, I thought I belonged to Chennai too. Mainly because of the beaches and the loving nature of the people around me. I got excellent folks at my work place who really welcomed me with open arms. It is very difficult to work in the Human Resource field if you do not know the local language. And yet I was there at Qualcomm Chennai making my mark and being loved and cared. Our landlord might have been a little bossy but he was a fatherly figure giving us advice and of course scolding us on our mistakes. As I was just trying to figure out about my belonging and then.....

The BIG transformation. We came to the US. The initial 6 months were a horrible nightmare and I was so sure that I didn't belong here. It took time for me to settle down and last 2 years have been very eventful and fruitful. And I now think I belong here to some extent. I belong to a culture where good work is appreciated and praised, I belong to the small circle of my good friends away from home, I belong to the Papa Johns and Pizza Huts, I belong to Chipotle, I belong to the library here, I belong to the vast horizons and clear blue skies, I belong to the evening walks I take without fail. 

But you know what? Over the past few days I realised that I was looking at the question in a wrong way till now. Why do I have to belong to a place? Why should a place define who I am? It will definitely influence my personality but will it really define my real self? 

I think I belong to myself!

I think the person that I have become today, I belong to myself. I belong to my positive nature, I belong to my spiritual side, I belong to my rooted to my family attitude, I belong to my open to new ideas perspective, I belong to my obsessive instructions to others compulsion, I belong to my fight against wrong sword, I belong to my self created by me over all these years! I simply belong to myself :)

So where do you belong?

Expectations Hurt!

Last 2 weeks have been a roller coaster ride for me with emotional turmoil and some very difficult unanswered questions. All of this converted into 2 days of emotional imbalance and today I am a little better and trying to put things in perspective. Trying to see if I can get answers atleast now.

Image Credit

The very foremost question is  - Are all of us so entangled in our lives that we do not get even 10 minutes to talk with people whom we call 'friends'? Distances might be vast, time zones might be varied but with technology everything has become so plausible. And even then, we just go on with our lives without taking out even 10 minutes to talk with our so called friends. If our friends call us, we do not answer and we do not even call back or drop a message conveying the reason for not being able to talk. I do not believe in having friends where there is no communication. Communication is important, it is the heart and soul of any relationship. Without which, the relation has little value. Talk it out is my mantra. But yet, some people do not have time for me in friendships. 

Expecting a 10 minutes talk from your dear friend hurts!

The second question - Is it so difficult for people to appreciate a good thing? Forget appreciating, people are jealous if you are doing good in life. They will try and bring you down. No one knows, what all a spouse on dependant visa goes through. Every day is a battle, waking up and thinking - what today? And yet, I keep myself sane with so many constructive activities. I could have wiled away my time watching stupid hindi soaps with girl friends. But no, I took a different path. I am not asking anyone to praise my perpetual struggle to do something meaningful in life. But atleast don't smirk and say, "What is the use of all of this, you anyways are not getting paid for it."

Expecting others to be sensitive hurts!

The third question - Is a small piece of information so expensive that you are unwilling to render it? I have experienced this time and again. No one wants to give any information because they think that this piece of information will help someone to progress in life. Minute information like a singing class whereabouts, an HR contact, a course detail or even for that matter a food recipe. Are we so narrow minded that we do not want to give a small piece of information due to our insecurities. I believe if a person is destined to know something, he/she will get that information from one channel or the other. Of course holding off information will delay the process, but never the less it will reach the destination. 

Expecting others to provide information hurts!

I am not saying I am flawless or perfect. I am not saying I do not err. I am not saying I am not guilty of a few things mentioned above. But today I atleast acknowledge my mistakes, I know what are my flaws and I am working towards improving them. I have learnt my life lessons. 

Amidst all the emotional chaos of unfulfilled expectations, deep inside I know this phase will pass too. It makes me realize the blessings in my life - the friends who are still with me, the strangers who helped and people who always motivate me.

The last question still haunts  - Is it so difficult to be a good human being?

Reigniting Life’s Motor

Image Source

The fountain in front of my apartment has stopped working and the water in the manmade lake is still and calm. As I look into my reflection in the steady water, I go back to those moments in my life where the motor of my life’s waterfall too was broken and it seemed life had come to a standstill.

I was probably 6 years old, sitting alone at my home and peeking through my window at my friends playing below. They were so engrossed in their play of hide and seek that no one even seemed to be missing me. And me, I could not go out to play because I had this stupid chicken pox and thus was grounded at home by Mother Nature. My mom was pacifying me from the kitchen reassuring me that I will be able to join my friends soon. I was not sad that I was not being able to play, but at that tender age too - I was hurt deep within that none of my friends even subtly hinted or expressed that they missed me. They were having a great time sans me. The chicken pox seemed to have opened my eyes and life seemed to have come at a standstill for a moment.

And yet, my chicken pox got cured and I forgave my friends for their betrayal and joined them to play the next game of hide and seek.

I was in the 6th grade maybe and there was a heinous crime committed in my locality. A family was butchered by thugs just to get some money and jewels. The kids in that family studied in my school though I did not know them personally. We had a few minutes silence during our school assembly that day praying for the deceased family. I came home that day and just started crying incoherently. I cried till tears dried and my eyes puffed. My father kept on asking me what is wrong and yet I just could not tell him what exactly was wrong. I skipped school for 3 days. Everything was dark around and life seemed to have come to a standstill for a moment.

And yet, on the 4^th day I could not take the darkness anymore and went to school leaving behind the blood and ash memories of the incident.

I was in my Senior High School. The seniors had picked up a few juniors from the class and had asked them to make a queue. Unfortunately, I was one of them. The seniors were having some fun at our expenses. Just then one of them commented, "It seems this girl isn't being fed properly at home, look at her popping collar bones." I was thin then, I am thin now. With this comment hurting like a scorpion sting, I was made to eat a piece of cake without touching it with my hands. I closed my eyes in shame and the time seemed to have come to a standstill then.

And yet, I did not let those nasty comments on my thin frame lose my confidence nor did I eat the cake as per the seniors’ instructions. I rebelled instead.

I was newly married and was at my new home. There was a lot of chaos going on with regards to the rituals of welcoming the new bride into the family. I was overwhelmed with the plethora of instructions being thrown at me. And at one moment, I did a grave mistake by not abiding to one of the ritual rules. The chaos was making me cringe with elderly women crying foul based on their beliefs. ‘Something unholy will happen to my husband and me’, was being echoed in my ears. I somehow mentally blocked out all the commotion, the time seemed to have come to a standstill for me.

And yet, I politely told the elderly that my husband and I will face the unholy.

And yet, I realized it is ‘me’ who has to reignite the motor of my life’s waterfall to ensure that the standstill moments are left behind. It is ‘me’ who is responsible for bringing the swing and motion back to my life. It has to be 'me' and no one else.

Glorifying Failure!

As many of you might know that I am a Toastmaster and last month I took part in the Humorous Speech Contest and won at the Club level, even though I did not expect at all that I will win. It was a pleasant surprise. I went ahead to the Area Level today and guess what? 

I LOST. 

Image Source

Or am I being too fast to come to a conclusion? All of us write about winning, but today I thought I will write about my failure, my losing. I am terrible at accepting failures and it does not come naturally to me. So here is a personal account of my brain musings when I realized I did not win.

I knew for sure that I was not going to win. Michael, a fellow contestant was stupendous and I knew he is going to win. He was terrific! So, I was mentally prepared to face the truth. When the results were announced, it did not come as a surprise that Michael won. And I should have felt a pang of sorrow and disappointment in my heart, but this time I did not. I was pleasantly surprised with my own self. So have I evolved as a human being and stopped feeling the obvious emotions in such a situation. Or was it that my brain was playing with me and that I was putting up a facade in front of the world, to come home later and break down. I had to wait to know this till I reached home.

But I was smiling all the time, I went out and congratulated the winners. Something I learnt at my earlier win at the Club, when the fellow contestants came out and congratulated me. My good wishes for the winner were genuine, Michael was great and he deserved to win. At this moment I thought, so is this still a facade or I have done the never done. I have finally learnt how to accept a failure? It was still too early to come to a conclusion.

When I was congratulating the winner and returning back to be with my husband and leave for home, a gentleman came up to me. In my introduction earlier, I had mentioned that I was a writer/blogger and joined Toastmasters because it was the best avenue to blend my writing and oratory skills. This gentleman said that he was looking for a blogger for his business and would I be interested? I was pleasantly surprised and said, "Why not?" I took his card and I have promised to get back. This might not culminate into a full fledged opportunity, it is too raw right now. 

But my brain secreted a wonderful something, which was nudging at me to forget about the earlier failure.

With that, I headed again towards my husband and I was greeted by an elderly gentleman. This gentleman has been a Toastmaster since 1989 and has a few Contest wins in his kitty. He is retired now, but his Toastmasters journey is still on. He told me that I was the best and that for him I was the winner. He even showed me the agenda where he had marked 1st place against my name, a little game he has been playing since long. Choosing his own winners before the real result is announced. Listening to him was such a humbling experience. He invited me to his Toastmasters Club to give a speech. 

At this point, my brain started acting more weird and there was a gush of positivity within me and some fluttering in my stomach.

I headed towards my original destination - my husband, when there was a group of Toasties who came up to me and greeted me and they were very supportive and encouraging. We shared nos. and email ids and decided to be in touch.

My brain now had completely forgotten about losing and there was a surge of motivation and bliss. I was sure I will not be breaking down after being in the solitude with my husband.

I finally made it to my husband, where many folks were telling Sujoy that his wife is funny (that is me btw). I went there, held my husband's hand and said "I get all the humor from him" :)

As I came out of the Contest Room and headed towards home, I was convinced that failure is elevating. Failure is fun. Failure is humbling!