Yes, you heard it right! I am an introvert, though the people around who don't know me well will think I am full of attitude as I don't mingle and people might think I have a smug face! Well, to people and their perceptions!!!
I am an introvert because I do not like a large group of people around me. It makes me claustrophobic. It makes me conscious that each one of them is judging me and that too judging me in the wrong way. A herd makes me extremely uncomfortable.
Second reason of me being away from all the social life is I like to keep my circle small with good people. I hate drama, I hate cheap gossip, I hate people talking at your backs, I hate petty fights which are turned into world wars, I hate the constant nagging to keep up with the group, I hate to fake smile, I hate to be pulled down by jealous people. When your social circle is big, all these things tend to happen no matter what and you cannot control.
I am happy in my very small world with my husband, my family back home, a few good friends, my writing, my books, Toastmasters and currently my exhilarating stint at Stylewhack. I like being in my own cocoon and letting only the treasured ones inside that cocoon.
I love being in the warmth of my home with my loved ones doing something which I like instead of attending a party hosted by someone whom I don't even know that well.
The other day I watched the local cricket tournament which happens in my Community! I was there because I love to watch my husband play. I have been watching him play since our dating days - Infosys football, Cognizant football, US football and now cricket. He is a different person on the field, I love to see the transition between normal Sujoy and sportsman Sujoy. Oops! Sorry, I got a little carried away with my love for Sujoy and his sports! So getting back to the point, I had gone to watch the cricket match and and I was the only one female in the audience for most of the tournament time! And it was liberating!
|I love to see him dribble!!|
Not that I didn't enjoy the last time I was there with a bunch of women, but this time it was different and I could enjoy every bit of the match swearing without thinking of the audience around. I did not deter for a moment also that what will everyone think that I have come all alone to watch the matches. I think that is what being an introvert means - being happy to be alone in a crowd and being in their own world!
But my closer circle knows how talkative I am, how caring I am, how positive I am, how pissed I get at certain things, how I love watching cartoon movies, how I get engrossed in books, how I get excited about Toastmasters, how I love writing, how I am obsessed with certain things!!!!! And I think that is what matters - my beloved people knowing me, rather than a bunch of unknown people trying to gauge me!
|Me and My Happy World|
Bottom line is - I love being an introvert and don't think I am going to change this any sooner!