Amrikan Dreams

So, as it turns out I completed a year in Amrika today! :) Though my husband would argue with me that out of those 12 months, 2 months I was in India and how technically it is not a year in Amrika and blah blah blah. These engineers I tell you ;) Never the less keeping my husband's blabbering aside, I still consider a year in Amrika!

Oh...this year has been phenomenal with highs and lows. I still remember the day I landed in Florida. After 27 hours of journey, what I wanted was home food and a bed to sleep. That is it! After picking up my 2 heaviest bags, I walk out of the airport. And OMG.....I suddenly feel I am in Chennai again. What I had heard of USA is it is a cold country. For a moment I thought, did I fly into a wrong destination. But then saw my husband and was like ok, it is not exactly a wrong destination. It seems we were meant to be tortured with hot and humid weather in USA also. 

Although today I thank God for Florida as I do not have to hibernate in my home for 6-8 months of the year when it snows in rest of the US. Phew!

The initial days were difficult. Leaving a job you love and being at home is a haunting experience. First 2 months were horrible with tantrums and crying. Every day I thought I am wasting precious days of my promising career. To top it all, I was homesick. I had been home for 3 months before coming here. So the contrast was killing. No one to talk to and nothing worthwhile to do. 

And then it happened! I was speaking to my ex colleague cum good friend and it dawned upon me that people are ready to exchange places with me right now. With no outlook calendars or mailboxes configured on the mobile, this is the time of life when I should do what I have been wanting to do always but never could due to 'busy' days at work. I got the purpose of my life.

I started with an attempt to give the SPHR certification and started studying for the same. Invested 6 months of my stay here in studying, learning US labour laws and back to HR Management concepts and application. The result of the exam is another story, will have to write a new blog for it :P

So post the exam refocused my energies on the love of my life - writing. I am glad to be back to writing. After 5 years I went back to full fledged writing and poetry. Did a few online courses in creative writing and now thinking of doing some advance courses. Writing has kept me sane down here. It feels great to pen down your thoughts and widen your imagination horizons. It is like scoring the only goal which makes you win the FIFA World Cup Final - the Gotze Goal (having a football freak husband makes certain traits rub off to you). 

If given a choice of going back to my job or being paid for writing a novel, the alternative I will take is pretty clear to me currently. Maybe one day, I will publish a story. Pray for me on that! :)

I get so much time that I gulp 800 pages books in 5 straight days. The library is my favourite hang out here. I have read 61 books in this year, from different genres. The library here is humongous and enormous. I just love walking around and smelling through all books - old and new. And this luxury completely free. The dream of looking at rain from your balcony, sitting on a chair with a cup of coffee and a great book - does not seem unrealistic at all! I have done it so many times.

USA has done wonders to my culinary skills ;) I have become a great cook. On this my sister and husband will say, stop praising yourself let others judge it. But still, I will self acclaim that I am a great cook now! ;)
So much so that my mom finds it difficult to believe that I prepare such varied dishes and not just basic rice and curry. Even after sending her pics of my food, she will ask me the recipe of it and sometimes I feel it is to cross check if I have really cooked that dish in the picture. One day, she confirmed with my husband if I really cook at home and if I am taking good care of him! It makes me wonder sometimes who is the Mother-in-law for me exactly! 

So going back to my culinary skills - I have picked up both cuisines: My husband's bengali cuisine and mine konkani cuisine. Plus there is maharasthrian, punjabi and chinese stuff also. Never in my life did I ever imagine I will be doing all this. This is all revenge time for Sujoy, for ignoring the kitchen completely while working in Chennai. Today he is a happy man atleast in regards to the food he gets!

I talk with folks back home and for longer durations after coming here. I yearn to talk to them instead of hanging up on them saying, "I am rushing into a meeting now, will call you later". And that later sometimes used to be after 2-3 days. Being jobless in a foreign country has taught me not to take your loved ones for granted. And as for the longer conversations....Come on, you should guess this by now! Narrating step wise detailed recipes with exact quantities on phone is definitely time consuming ;)

Being in US is therapeutic in certain ways. You walk on the roads carefree with no judging eyes or staring looks. Everybody minds their own business and that is such a relief. It is a reveling experience. I remember a time when I was wearing my husband's shirt after a beach visit and it was too long. I was roaming in that and no one even bothered to give me a second look. 

People over here will smile at you and greet you when you cross their path. They will greet you at stores also. That is a dose of freshness for you! And the quality of life here is as everyone knows pretty high. So ya there are boons of being here.

My travel has been amazing. Its a year, and we have already explored most of the places in Florida. Disney - checked, Universal - checked, Animal Safari -checked, Miami Zoo - checked, Key West - checked, NASA - checked, Everglades alligator farm - checked, Sanibel Island - checked, Sea Aquarium - checked. So yes, this year has been great on travelling aspect and I look forward to more of the expeditions :)

Certain ways in USA are different though. I remember going to a mithai shop here and asking to give half kg of burfi. And the shop keeper ridiculing me and asking, "Kg?" People measure in pound here.

The day I was going to India and I was flashing my Florida learner's driving licence everywhere as we do in India at the gate and all. I showed my licence to a porter and my husband was like, yes I know you have a driving licence but you don't have to flash it to anyone and everyone. In my defense, the porter was so smartly dressed that I thought he is some security official at the door ;)

I am amazed at the trust people have here. Fedex and UPS will leave packages at door step and no one will take it. There are free libraries and people return the books honestly. There are self check out counters in most shops which believe that the customer will bill all the items honestly. 

There is so much open land here and lesser population that USA can afford to have extensive malls spread horizontally than vertically with ample parking space. There are parks everywhere. Everything is well maintained and so clean.

So ya overall, this year has been great! And I am looking forward to another eventful year of Amrikan dreams! Folks back home already call me a firang. A firang who loves the Amrikan way of living but yet deep under she is still rooted to her family, her culture and her country :)

The Societal Ladder!

So you are 28 and still unmarried, or are you 32 and still doing your studies, or are you 31 plus 5 years being married and yet still do not have a kid or are you 35 years of age and have just one kid? 

All the above things just do not fit in the societal ladder of progression and are considered heinous sins. You guys are in some BIG trouble for that! Welcome to the world of 'The Societal Ladder'!

The societal ladder is regulated by what I call 'Nosy Ninjas', as they are ready with their combat to assault you with their nuclear weapon known as nosiness. Let us abbreviate them as NN! NNs come in all ages, sizes and shapes... they are omnipresent like God - might come across them while traveling, at a social event, at a personal event, even in a public rest room.....ya you got it... just anywhere. 

These NNs want to know it all - if you are not married then they want to know why are you still unmarried and when will that happen, if you are married then they want to know when will the kid arrive, if you have one kid they want to know when will the next kid arrive and if you have 2 kids then they want to know what are you planning for their future...so it is just that whatever stage of life you are in their quest for answers is unceasing.

And as I said they come in all ages. They can be of your own age, sometimes younger to you but majorly in the Aunty and Uncle age group. They present themselves as your benefactor and show they genuinely care for you but the real agenda is brutally regulating the society at your expense. They have a definitive societal ladder in their regime and they want everyone to follow it blindly - marriage at 25, first kid at 27 and then second kid at 29. Anything that is later than this plan sends chills to their plans and thus starts their regulation work.

They come up with some very soothing sentences like - 'Let the kid come, everything will fall in place'. I wonder sometimes if they mean everything will fall in place or everything will fall apart when they give such advice to a couple who are living separately - the wife pursuing her Ph. D and the husband working in a different city. How is the kid going to help them achieve their goals?

Another classic example - 'Get married and your problems will be resolved'. I often wonder who goes and tweets to them about our problems? If the problem is not getting promoted at workplace due to lack of a master's degree then how is marriage the solution? Oh now I understand, for them marriage is a whole new level of education and ya obviously it will add to the resume! 

And then - 'Let the second kid come, the first one will not be such a nuisance then'. Firstly how dare you call someone's kid a nuisance and secondly will the second kid come with some magical powers to soothe the firstborn? The kid is already alone with both parents working day and night to secure his/her future. They do not have enough time for one kid, from where will they manage time for the second. And why is it necessary to have this 'Hum do, hamare do' (we two and our two kids) in every family?

So the bottomline is you should just blindly follow their created ladder irrespective of where you stand in life, what you want from life and how you want to lead your life. That does not matter. Your motto in life should be get married at 25 and have two kids by the end of 3 years of marriage - Ola..mission accomplished!

So here is my message to all the NNs - Please mind your own business. Respect people's privacy and let them do what they want in life. Respect people having 2 kids as also couples deciding to not to have kids. It is their decision, you do not know what compelled them to take this decision nor do you know anyone's struggles. Please take a step back and let people live the way they want and not according to some military time table! Stop messing around and poking your nose in everyone's affairs! 

So the next time any Nosy Ninja messes around with you, just direct them to this blog  ;)
And the next time when someone asks me so when is the good news coming, here is my answer: The good news is already here - I just started caring even lesser about Nosy Ninjas :P

Connected, are we?

Meera was sitting at Starbucks hogging on the walnut banana cake and of course the wifi. She was multitasking - eating, giving last minute touches to the presentation for tomorrow's 'Perceptions of Architecture' class, uploading photos on social media about a recent architectural expedition and at the same time talking with her friend and making plans for dinner!

At the opposite corner sipping coffee, engrossed in reading 'Lost and Found' by Jacqueline Sheehan was Ihaan. He was an animal friend, saving animals and a believer of nature conservation. Ihaan was oddly reserved but not shy.

And then a customer walking between these two, tripped and fell down. Meera and Ihaan stood and ran to help the man to get up. Their eyes met and they smiled at each other. Meera took the lead and asked him to join her for dinner. Two people from different worlds met and bonded!
Connected, were they?

The room was tense with nervous outbreaks here and there amidst a few confident beams. Rima with her palms moist and files held tight was waiting for her turn to be interviewed. Priya just came out of the interview room with little relief on her face.

Once all interviews were done, the candidates were asked to have lunch at the cafeteria. The facilitator said that post lunch the result would be announced about candidates qualifying to the next round.

Priya and Rima ended up on the same lunch table and started talking. Priya was just married, had left her current job and came to this new city to be with her husband. Rima also had the same story to share. Here were two females, united by parallel circumstances. They promised to keep in touch irrespective of their fate to be decided in a few moments.

Lunch was done, results announced. Both of them did not make it to the next round!
Connected, were they?

Jamal was an Economics student in one of the developing nations with a zest to excel in this neglected field in his nation. His mother was a homemaker and father was a supervisor in a leather factory. He had a younger brother who was in school. Jamal came from a modest background.

He wanted to do his Ph. D. in 'Wealth Inequality and its effects on education'. He did not have the financial resources to fund his Ph. D. What he had was a scholarship which would be granted only if he had a reputed guide from one of the esteemed universities. But Jamal just wanted one person to be his guide - Dr. Smith, the author of ' The Economic Divide - Are we being fair?'

 Dr. Smith (Ph. D.) was a professor of economics at one of these esteemed universities, where he was offered tenure at the age of 30 and accepted at 31, becoming one of the youngest people to do so in the history of their economics department. He published a number of papers in prestigious journals, including American Economic Review, Quarterly Journal of Economics, and Journal of Political Economy. These were just a few of his accomplishments.

Jamal sent an email to Dr. Smith with his preliminary hypothesis and POV. Dr. Smith read it and was impressed. He decided to be Jamal's guide. Only hitch was the guidance would be virtual - via phone and emails.

Jamal and Dr. Smith never met. Connected, were they?

You are reading this blog of mine. For some of you, I might be an unknown blogger scribbling something in some corner of the world and yet you will connect with Priya or Jamal. Some of you may think, "Oh Gosh! How does she know my story?"

You and me - connected, are we????

The 'Maharani' of our house!

She is the prankster of the house and yet the most pampered member of the family! It does not take much time to make friends with her, she adores company. The more the company the merrier for her ;) She will adore you so much that you will feel special even on your worst days. And all it takes to make her happy is patting her! She is none other than the youngest of our family - Bosky!!!

(Do not mess with me look)

Bosky came in our lives when she was just a few months old. She is a pug - Yes, yes the Vodafone dog! She was so small and soft like a bundle of silk. Her paws were soft and she used to slip on the floor while walking. And like for any baby, time passed very fast. She grew from a tiny toddler to almost 2 years now. 

I just cannot get enough of her! The things she does sometimes just amazes me. Her favourite is having biscuit during tea time. And she knows only Baba will give her biscuit. Let her be in any corner of the house or deep asleep, she will come running to the kitchen at the sound of the spoon mixing sugar in the tea cup. So if you want to wake her up, you know what to do ;)

She sleeps on the bed with us. Sometimes she sleeps between me and my SIL. Once my SIL got up to do something. And Bosky the princess spread herself so luxuriosly that she covered most of the vacant bed. And when Rini came, there was no space for her to sleep. Rini tried to shift her. But our maharani won't budge!!! And then Rini nudged her a little which made Bosky angry and she haughtily walked away from us. Such are the nakhras of this tiny creature!

We live on the third floor. When we are out and reaching home, Bosky comes to know the moment we reach the parking. She will start barking then. And the welcome she gives is just out of the world. The moment we pen the door, she will come running, wagging her tail and licking and running around you till you pat her. She adores you so much as if you had been gone for ages! Who would not love to come back home to such grand welcome :)

My MIL goes for a walk in the morning. Once she is back she takes Bosky out for a walk. Usually she will enthusiastically go to the door at the sound of my MIL's footsteps. But when she does not want to go for a walk on some days, this clever little girl will come and act as if she is fast asleep on our bed. From where she learns all this is a big mystery to us!!


She loves Baba the most. If he is not at home, she will get his home footwear and sleep on it. The site is so cute. She will go and trouble him only for all her demands. 

I remember an incident when she was 1.5 months old. She saw a cat in the parking. The went a step ahead, the cat took a step behind. This gave some courage to Bosky I believe. Then she took another step ahead and the cat in nervousness took two steps ahead. And that was it...Bosky ran from there as if hell was broken. It was the first time when we saw a dog scared of a cat!! It was indeed hilarious.

Sometimes when you are low and you just look at her, that gives you half of your energy and motivation back! The unconditional love that she showers on you makes you feel ashamed of the materialistic goals you are running behind. Her carefree nature makes me want to let go off my inhibitions and be carefree atleast for a moment. Her energy makes you feel old! And the best part is when she cuddles you like a human being and sleeps!

Indeed she is more than just a dog -  she is the happy line of our house, much more than a selfish human being giving us every ounce of her endless love!

The sweet and lovely Indian wedding!!!

I have been staying away from my beloved city Pune since my marriage. So coming back home was always special! And don’t ask about the pampering at both houses then – In laws as well as mother’s place. They will make me just sit and feed me all my favourite dishes and ask what else you want beta. It will be like one princess treatment, where in I just sit and enjoy all the pampering!

With this treatment as a benchmark for me, I was really looking forward to coming back home and this time from across the seven seas. I kept thinking, while coming from Chennai to Pune I was given so much love and adorations.....coming from USA will be a totally different level of hospitality altogether!

But alas....I was in for a BIG disappointment! This time I was flying home for my younger sister’s marriage and do I have to say anything more? I was sent to work the moment I reached Pune, with emotional blackmailing, “Pradnya, please prepare tea for Shweta. It is her marriage, right?” “Pradnya, please get up and take a bath. Let Shweta sleep a little bit more. It is her marriage, right?” And so my pampering dreams were all crashed and instead the centre stage was occupied my younger sister Shweta!!

So thus started off my younger sister’s marriage for me. This was supposed to be an offbeat  Marwadi marriage for us with a much louder wedding than our Konkani traditions. We were supposed to have Sangeet and a very elaborate full day marriage. Marriages in Konkani fraternity are short and sweet but a little boring.

Our first big task was to set up a dance. With her in laws also dancing, it was a herculean task for us youngsters to come up with a decent dance. The Navalakhas (groom’s side) are a bunch of awesome enthusiastic dancers right from small kids to uncles and aunties.  While none of us are dancers at our place and my parents outrightly denied to dance on stage. So it was just Shweta’s friends, me and my sister in law (who also choreographed our dance).

The dance practices were fun. We ate, had coffee, gossiped and if time permitted practiced at the end ;) It was a bunch of 6 girls, dancing their heart out and trying to enjoy the process to the fullest. 1 week of crazy dance practices and we were a little confident about dancing on stage in front of 350 pair of intrigued eyes! Or so we thought :P

The marriage kick started for us with the mehendi day. Shweta had to put mehendi till a little above the elbow. It took 3 hours for 3 mehendi artists to fill up her hands and feet with the hearty redness of the mehendi. Mean while we put the mehendi on our hands and then practiced for the sangeet. The mehendi was really intricate and it was a task trying to find the groom’s name in it.

So we were telling Shweta, if you get bored during the marriage ceremony just look at your mehendi and try to search groom’s name in it! :P

The next day, we had a pooja at our place followed by the haldi ceremony. All our cousins, kakis and elders put haldi on the bride’s face, hands and feet. Some kakis were so enthusiastic that they smacked the haldi on the bride’s face as if it was a birthday cake :p Certain rituals are fun and they bind the family together :)

And  then came the much awaited sangeet night! The evening started with dances from some professional choreographers who happened to be the groom’s cousins and friends. And seeing that me and Shweta’s friends were like, “Hmm....so this is their definition of dance!” The groom’s family was full of energy and zeal, bouncing and leaping gracefully on all bollywood songs. And we the bride’s side were sitting in audience thinking how will we match up to this! Our dance was after groom’s parents and we thought how good can oldies dance? Our dance will be better than theirs for sure. But we were completely mistaken! Groom’s parents’ dance got a ‘once more’ and we were like, ‘How bad can this get?’

With all this, we went on stage. The dance started and so did the hooting and whistles. We danced confidently and the dance was indeed good. There was one step in the end, where in we had invited the boys to join us for a 2 minute ganapati dance. Till the end they were saying no but at the D moment, they did come on the stage. And yes, even our dance got a ‘once more’ (though the hooters were all bride’s side folks, still we did get a ONCE MORE). And now when I look at the dance video, I cannot believe I danced! I have never danced so whole heartedly till now. It was an exhilarating experience, letting go off your apprehensions and seeing everyone young to old enjoying the very essence of dance – freedom of expression! So here is the Sangeet Video!

We came home at 12 midnight rejuvenated with the energy after dancing. Did last bit of packing and preparations and then hit the bunk. The next day was going to be a looooonnngggg day!

Morning everybody woke up early and we reached the marriage hall by 8 am. And then till 7.30 in the evening, we were there experiencing two souls madly in love with each other finally being a family. The bride and the groom looked happy from within even in their heavy attires, scorching heat, kneeling down and doing namaskar to almost 1000 guests. Such is the happiness of getting married to your loved one that rest of the things seem immaterial then. 

The bidai was a tearful moment for all of us, the bride’s side. My mom was crying incoherently. After my wedding, they never realised it that much as Shweta was always there (though most of her time was spent at Vaishali sipping coffee with Karan and very less at home). They knew in the night she will be back home, back to them. That assurance was lost now. I have always wondered why girls have to leave their home, their parents and go to a new house and blend in their colours and I still have not found any answer!

I was crying, sobbing on the shoulders of Shweta’s friends. When one of her friends said, “Don’t cry Pradnya, Shweta is here only in Pune”. And me teary eyed looked at her and said, “But I am not here in Pune” and everybody bursted out laughing. The groom’s photographer and video shooting guys were hovering around us filming us crying. And I told one of them, “Entire day we were smiling that time you just looking at the bride and the groom and now when we are crying you are paying attention to us” It was ironical!

There were moments which will be cherished by me forever. The look on the groom’s face when he first saw the glimpse of his beautiful bride – cannot be explained in words! Me and the groom’s mother were waiting outside Shweta’s room while she was getting ready. And in that instant I just hugged her tightly and she reciprocated it in the same manner – two women stressed out with all the responsibilities and giving each other a moment of peaceful sanity! When it was turn for giving money for the groom’s mojdis, my sister was not even taking our side – a girl madly in love and already a Navalakha! The long hug which Shweta gave Papa during bidai – my eyes still get moist thinking about it.

The best moment was when Karan held Shweta’s hand tightly while leaving for their house – it is at such moments you tend to believe, ‘Marriages are indeed made in heaven’!

                                

Agonies of a Die Hard Reader!

Preface: For those who have not read the third part of Shiva Triology, stop right here! A bit of the suspense might be revealed!

It was a pleasant evening with a little breeze in the other wise hot weather in the Sunshine State. Sujoy comes home in the evening after office and is bewildered to see me crying, with big tear droplets rolling through my cheek. He is shocked and comes near me and asks me what is the matter with me. I look into his big eyes, hug him tightly, sob and in miffed voice say, "Sati died."

Sujoy is baffled, tries to remember who is Sati...some relative or ex-colleague of mine...but he fails to nail who this Sati is. He asks me timidly, "Who died exactly?" 

I reply sullenly, "Sati, Shiva's wife." And then it dawns on him. Sati is a fictional character in some moron book my wife is reading!!!! And he gives me a very ugly look and walks off. He thinks I am a mad woman, and how come someone be carried away so much by a book.

So this is the life of a die hard reader, who falls in love with the souls of the characters in the book and thinks these folks are an inseparable part of life. The other world, never understands this sentiment and finds it very difficult to digest. But nevertheless, we die hard readers cannot help but agonize in our book characters' pain and rejoice in their happiness. Such is our life!

Sometimes a book gives us such a kick that we forget everything around us. I remember, I was hooked to 'The Fountainhead' by Ayn Rand and finished this humongous book in a week by bunking college. That awestruck I was with that book. The way Ayn Rand has knitted this story to put forth her philosophy is just plain awesome. You fall in love with Howard Roark, his struggles, his ideology and his 'arrogance'. The simplicity of the words intertwined with the deep meaning just mesmerizes you! 

We are tormented to see movies doing so much injustice to the so elaborate book. Not a single movie or series have I come across which might be 70% as beautiful as the book. It is evident that 2 hours cannot sum up all those sentiments and beautiful moments wrapped up in a 700 pages book.
Elizabeth Bennet created by Jane Austen in 'Pride and Prejudice' has so much more to her than what is shown on the screen. The movie could not do justice to her beauty, her witty nature, her sharp tongue and her tendency to take hasty decisions. The movie did not create the magic in the moment where Elizabeth and Darcy are finally together. Sadly enough, the goosebumps which I felt while reading the classic, were lost while watching the movie.

I wake up on days and start reading a book trying hard to search Lin, Karla, Prabaker and the likes in the book. I vehemently search them till I realize, this is not 'Shantaram' and that I have moved on to a new book. The stories involve you so deeply that you want them to go forever. It takes a while to adjust myself to the new scenario and the new book!!

Ends of books gone astray hurts us really hard! I remember reading a story in a blog and the end of which was not really a pleasant one. I controlled myself for 3 days but the 4th day, I sent a message to the blog writer demanding him why did he end it so tragically when he could have had a happier ending.
These unconvincing ends make me taunt, I have anger bursts and keep on snapping on small issues. That is the bad time for Sujoy ;) God save Sujoy from unconvincing book ends!!!

Right now I am captivated by 'Game of Thrones' series. When I started reading this series, I was mind blown so much that I told Sujoy that I can marry the author of this series right away. But then I checked out the author and he seems to be an old chap. So I cancelled my plan of marrying him and am going to ask him to adopt me instead ;)
His imagination and story telling ability is breathtaking. The series which has been created based on this book has picked up even dialogues verbatim from the book.  The story has parallel stories woven around so many characters which some how are interlinked. Each character's story is unique and stunning. The characters etched in the book are so descriptive and so enchanting. You fall in love with all of them. I have been struggling to love just one character but have failed till now. One day I hopelessly fall in love with John Snow, the next day I love Arya, sometimes Brian and other times Robb. 

The bottom line is life is good for die hard readers when they are amongst good books! Or should I rather say, a good book makes your and indirectly your spouse's life interesting ;)

PS: Sujoy ignores my crying now, even if this for a 'real' reason !!!!!

Soccer, Oops sorry..... 'Football' and Me!

Preamble

 A humble request to all readers, especially football fanatics to be very kind with me and hold on to their urges of killing me at some of my misdeeds which took place in my ignorance of the magnanimity of a phenomenon known as 'Football'.

This blog is dedicated to all those for whom football is a religion, and their better halves who have made peace with the fact that football indeed is the first love in their husbands' life!

I have grown up knowing just TWO sports in my life until I met my husband Sujoy! Cricket and Tennis. The only massive tournaments I knew until then where World Cup and Wimbledon. There was a point, when I just not knew all players in the Indian cricket team but also all other teams! Common guys, I need an applause here, that is a big task for someone whose life just revolved around studies and books.

So when I met Sujoy, I was a little bemused that he plays football. But that's it, it did not make any more impact whatsoever in the way I perceived Sujoy.

I must say, football and me started on a very bad foot though! Football maneuvered effortlessly and tackled the ball away from me, leaving me hapless and all alone on that vast football field. The metaphor here being, the ball was the love of my life - Sujoy, and that vast field was my life - my real life!!

I still vividly remember the day, 26th of December 2007. It was Sujoy's birthday and we had planned for nice romantic dinner in KP. I was kind of elated as KP was something very exotic at that point, a very cosmopolitan place. But GOD [I hope, the HJW folks get the pun here ;)] had something else in mind. Sujoy calls me at 4 pm saying we cannot go to the dinner as he has a chance of a lifetime to play football under floodlights, 5 a side match on his special day. And I cannot make head or tail out of it, wondering why is it so important to him. So important that he is dumping me and choosing football on this day! I was pissed to the core as how can a non living thing, a stupid game be of prime importance to someone than a living being of flesh, blood and feelings.

He did go ahead and played the game. Post the game, he came to meet me but I refused to meet him as I was in a state of horrifying anger. We did not speak for 3 days. 4th day I called him and that call was my first step to understanding why this game matters so much to him. He was talking with a lot of conviction. He said, "You have never played a sport. You will never understand the passion I have for football. The high that I get cannot be compared to any alcohol or drugs whatsoever.  It is not just a game, it is a way of life! I could not have got a better present on my birthday than play football under floodlights!"

Even on the call, I could sense his intensity as he spoke from his heart. That was the first turning point in my life, a major one. That day I realized if I want this guy in my life, I have to give a serious attempt atleast to understand the game.

I started asking questions to Sujoy about football. How many players play, what are the positions, his favourite team, what is a league etc etc. 

I remember once we were watching EPL together and they showed the score card of all the teams during halftime. And I wanted to flaunt my newly acquired football knowledge to Sujoy. And I said, "Why isn't Brazil playing this time?" (Folks please do not come with daggers to kill me....forgive me for this one, seriously!)

And the look on Sujoy's face was criminal. I thought he is surprised and scandalized that I noticed Brazil is not playing this time. He beat his hand on his forehead and said, "Please do not embarrass me like this in front of my friends. You should have atleast known your Geography. It is 'English' Premier League and Brazil still has not shifted to United Kingdom."

And there melted my moment of scoring brownie points with Sujoy. Forget the brownie points, I was so embarassed that I did not know where to hide my face. And I sweared to put in more effort to comprehend the game!

The next major milestone took place when I saw Sujoy playing football! Oh boy! That is the most scintillating sight to view! He is a beauty to watch on that vast evasive field, making his own special moments to be remembered for a lifetime! One can see the passion in his eyes and feel the fire in his belly when he is at the field, at his fantasy land!

Sujoy in real life is a very quite and calm person. He takes time to mix up and till then will talk only when spoken to. He is a very matured individual and thinks very deeply on most of the occasions. 
But on the football field, he is anything but calm. I have seen him aggressively dodging the ball away from the opponent, abusing the opponent on a foul game, howling at other team mates for bad moves and last but not the least yelling at the referees in case of a bad decision. Not to mention, Sujoy has been awarded the prestigious yellow card on quite a few occasions. 
I am amused beyond limit to see this temporary transformation in a human being - it is like witch craft, a magic spell! 

So these were the major breakthroughs which assisted me in deciphering why football was such a significant phenomenon in Sujoy's life and convinced me that it indeed is more than just a game.

I have my own remarkable memories associated with the game. I have seen these bunch of crazy fanatics playing football with the same zeal, many of them are my good buddies now. I have seen a captain yelling at almost everyone during the match, I have seen players quarelling like school kids, I have seen the euphoria when a goal is scored, I have experienced the tension in penalty shootouts which decide the fate of the game, I have seen wives getting Lakshminarayan chiwda not only for their husbands but for the entire team, I have seen a spectator getting a yellow card for abusing off the field (ya, beat that) and I have seen all players hurdling together and celebrating victories like brothers! 
I have experienced too many emotions in those 90 minutes!!! 

I cannot thank football enough and all the fanatics on the field for enriching my life and adding invaluable perspective to my thought process. And I yearn to see all of you guys play again together, this game known as 'Football'!

This has been my equation with football so far. Thus now football, Sujoy and me live amicably together! As long as the other lady in his life is 'football', I really do not mind! ;)