The grass always 'seems' greener on the other side!

I beheld her power at the workplace,
And gazed at that authoritarian charm on her face.
I saw her snapping orders at her juniors,
Walking haughtily around, with no trace of fear.

Every time I saw the efficacious her,
From a twinge of jealousy I used to suffer.
Her aura of success wounded me,
I kept on thinking, like her can I ever be?

With hers, I started comparing my life,
And to be her, I incessantly thrived.
Life started becoming a misery as nothing was going my way,
While she was reaching new heights day by day.

And then abruptly she stopped coming to office,

To tell you the truth, her presence I really did miss.

She was hospitalized, I came to know,

After hearing that, to meet her I had to go.

There she was lying on the hospital bed,

Crippled, bruised and almost half dead.

The truth that surfaced made my head blow,

Apparently her husband was her biggest foe.

By her success at work, I was always blinded,

Never realized that a monster she might have wed

At work she was conquering mountains steep,

But back home she was in an abusive relationship.

And then my eyes snapped wide open,

For all that I have, I thanked God a ton.

I thanked God for all the blessings in my life,

And swore to myself that to have someone else's life, I will never ever strive.

So next time when you think someone has a perfect life and nothing to hide,

Think twice and remember my friend - Grass always 'seems' greener on the other side!

I want to be....

I want to be

the sun

shining every single morning

and brightening lives

I want to be

the deep blue sea

keeping within me

the treasures of the world

I want to be

the old oak tree

spreading its branches

and giving shelter to the lost

I want to be

the morning dew
soaking in the sunshine 
and sparkling on the green leaf

I want to be

the blooming flower

waving along the wind

and spreading its fragrance

I want to be

the first rain drop

that falls on the earth

and quenches her thirst

I want to be 

all of this

and yet still be me

have my distinct mark on everything!!!

The dichotomy of Good and Evil!

I wander across the street,

Smiling at strangers whom I meet.

This is the good old me,

Can a little evil I ever be?

I ponder on the times I have gone out of my way,

To help someone from going astray.

I wonder how always I have been so polite,

And the numerous occasions I have retreated from a fight.

'Was that all worth?', I question myself

Being the goody goody fairy tale elf

As sometimes I had my moments of evil,

I wanted to be a monster, a devil.

I yearned to howl at the hypocrites,

And crush the termites who at your back bite.

I craved not to care a damn for the world,

And wished to lash out all these bindings with my sword!

Alas! Then to me it dawned,

Around my self, a hypocrisy net I had spawned.

At the outset, I used to smile at someone,

While in reality I felt like shooting them with a gun.

And then I had to abandon my pretensions,

With the good old myself I was done.

Now I am free, to express exactly what is in my mind,

Without the obligation to be always affable and kind.

This way, believe me life is so better

As you get rid of all the stored up clutter.

So the new me is an angel if you are good and all straightened,

To the devil, beware I am the Satan!!!!

Sun, sand and water.....

I was a child then, holding hands of my parents and treading my first steps in water. I still distinctly remember the sensation of water lashing on the feet and the drowning feeling when the water recedes and your feet sink in the sand. I was terrified until I realized my parents had held me tight! 

I was at the beach of my native place Karwar, exploring the furtiveness of the sea. Since then beaches have always had an intrinsic influence the way I look at life.

I grew a little older and remember each summer holidays spending in Karwar. While building those sand castles, a flickering thought always came of building a castle on the beach and staying there forever! Yes, child fantasies! 

Creatures inside the shells always intrigued me, I wanted to know how come they are not bored dwelling there in that small space all the time. I understand it entirely now as I am a complete homely person and would rather spend the day lazing or reading at home than go out amidst everyone. 

Or was it that those shell creatures played a role in molding me like this????

Trying to catch hold of the small crabs running on the sand was almost an impossible task. But back then, you are full of energy and want to try everything. The quirky crabs used to run for their lives until they found their safe shelter. It was devilish happiness then! We never conquered the crabs though, their speed was invincible and somehow they found safety before we could pounce on them.

I think my sister, Shweta learnt a few lessons from these crabs. She is never at one place, loves to hover and be out than be at home. She is always running all the time......

Once you are in your teens, you start noticing the nature on the beach. The sunset and sunrise on the beach are the best sights one can ever experience. Seeing that ball of fire rising up the waters and then slowly melting down the waters is a plain marvel. And sitting in the sand, holding hands of your beloved and looking at the sun is an altogether different experience!!! Listening to the wave sounds with the breeze whooshing around - bliss! The serenity of the sea transmits you to another world - a world of your own thoughts, mitigates pain and gives you peace of mind!

The vastness of the sea makes me humble every time I try to see where the sea ends. You may have the power to control the world or all of world's money, but you will always be a tiny creature in front of the sea. Your power and money may not be able to save you if the sea comes down to show its power of devastation. 

The sea has taught me to keep my feet grounded!

And as I write this, it dawns to me that sea has indeed been an inseparable part of my life. I spent my childhood in Karwar, went to Andaman and Nicobar Islands for my honeymoon, was in Chennai after my marriage and now I am in Florida! The sea does have a special connection with me :)

Whenever I put my first step in water.....the memories of my childhood come gushing to me and for a while I feel at home! :)

Rachel Carson sums it up precisely - 

“To stand at the edge of the sea, to sense the ebb and flow of the tides, 

to feel the breath of a mist moving over a great salt marsh, 

to watch the flight of shore birds that have swept up and down the surf lines of the continents for untold thousands of year, 

to see the running of the old eels and the young shad to the sea, 

is to have knowledge of things that are as nearly eternal as any earthly life can be.”

So, what is your Crazometer Score???

For almost more than quarter of a century, I have lived a disciplined and predictable life with just books as my passion....Oh ya ya...I know a very 'boring' life indeed! The same old routine throughout with little chance for flexibility. 

Now when I look back...I am like alas...ghosh I did miss out on some fun....or did I? I have always been a book worm and loved to be in my cocoon of imaginary friends and plethora of good thoughts. Oh ya...those were the times.....

And today when I see carefree people around....it does make me ponder....I have been so 'boring' that I do not have one photo of mine with a weird or funny expression. FB today has tons and tons of it, but not me in those bizzare pics!
I have been so very conscious of the world around me and their judgmental eyes, that sometimes makes me feel like Debra from 'Everybody Loves Raymond' who thinks she is 'boring' amongst the maniac Barons!!

Things are changing now though....thanks to the carefree environment around me where people do not bother what you are wearing, what you are doing unless you poke your nose in their business. It exhilarates you beyond imagination! Loosening up indeed is thrilling in its own way! 

Like the other day, when I got completely drenched in water first time ever in life. To top it all, post that roamed in Sujoy's (my husband) clothes on the streets! No one bothered to give me a second look! That was such a revelation!

I have some crazy people in my life though and I guess that has made me sustain my boring life till now!!!

Sujoy, who bunked his classes during school and roamed on his bicycle through out the city....until he was caught one day ;)

Couple friends of mine ...guess what they did? They had a 'who can yell louder' competition in front of their 1.5 years old daughter.... And now when they are reading this, I can see the huge grins on their faces!!!

Rini (my sister in law) and her crazy bunch of friends. They were actually imitating Watsapp icons with weirdest ever expressions!! Playing antakshari at what 3 am...and the noise created was definitely deafening!
She tried doing some inhumane stunt on her friend's bike and got hurt gravely!

Saurabh (my brother in law, who is I think 26 years old) will poke his niece Suchi (who is almost 3 years old now), eat chocolate in front of her and then tease her. Pricking Debika's (his cousin) pimple on the nose early morning when she was asleep. Flamboyantly spraying artificial snow on me when it was not even my birthday.

Sushmita (my other sister in law) who will ask Suchi, her daughter to fill water in a gun and shoot that water on great grandma's face. Now that was really amusing and great grandma's grumpiness added to the fun ;)
She will scream 'Rini' at the top of her lungs from the ground floor at 10 pm, when our home is on the 4th floor. And then ring the doorbell continuously till we open it. And she is what 31 years old!

My friend who used to question every passer if they had seen his toe nail somewhere. I asked him, "What pleasure you get doing this?" He replied, "This makes them leave aside their contemplations for a while and search for my stupid toe nail sometimes."
We do need such breaks, don't we?

My friend who sneaked into ladies hostel during Diwali and burst crackers. And I thought this happens only in movies! I cannot put his picture as his wife is unaware of all his engineering tales ;)

Choto kaka who keeps on doing mind boggling stuff all the very time. He went and asked the air hostess whether he can go out and smoke when the flight was in air!! Or ask the waiter if the water served was from the river Ganga! I mean "Really?"

My bestest buddies...around whom I tend to loosen up my hair sometimes!

Oh I forgot to mention...I had met Sujoy once in a cultural program. After that I saw him on a football ground near my place. And I started shouting, "Sujoy, Sujoy" from a distance. And Sujoy was bewildered and wondering who the hell this crazy girl is calling my name on a football field....
Can you believe, he thought the naivest girl on earth to be crazy!!!
Now love does make you do some crazy things, doesn't it???? :)

So, what is the craziest thing, you have done till now??? What is your Crazometer score?